Kick Your Own Ass for a Change

The dude in the pictures below is named Greg. Like most dudes his age, he's acquired a number of nicknames, among them "Silverback" and, most notably, "Onefoot."

"Onefoot" is  a semi-literal description. He likes to do one-footed frontside carve grinds on coping all over Texas or, as pictured above, in Arkansas. He's skated since the '70s, but chilled a while to ride dirt bikes, I think the story goes. He later decided to take up skating again after breaking his neck or back or something like that. Greg's been skating so long that he's one of those guys who's never even heard of punk rock, but make no mistake about it, he's way punker than most. I haven't seen Greg for a few years now, but pictures like these remind me of that fact, and I'm sure he's still hitting coping somewhere. Why wouldn't he be?

 

By all accounts, Greg's gnarly. Not in the sense that he'll kick your ass or anything like that, though. In fact, far from it. He's as mellow as they come. For example, every time I used to see him at the old Frosty bowl he'd ask me politely to "please not yell at the kids today." He's gnarly for better reasons than most; he's gnarly because he's considerably older than almost anyone he skates with, yet does things no one else can do, thus the name "Onefoot."

One time while watching Greg skate, a total stranger in Arkansas raved: "That guy rules, man. He reminds me what this shit's all about." When pressed to explain further, he reflected, "Well, my boss is a dick. My wife won't let me drink no more, and my own kid wants me to buy him fucking roller blades. This dude kinda reminds me that I can kick my own ass for a change." Enough said. 

At the risk of waxing philosophical yet again (I know it's not punk, jockface), I think I understand what dude meant. Somewhere at the essence of skating, none of the rules of banality seem to apply anymore. The usual limitations of age itself are tossed out the proverbial window and replaced by the much freer possibilities of imagination and determination. Every time Onefoot carries out his namesake grind, he demonstrates the fact that we place a lot of restrictions on ourselves in those very categories. Put simply, Greg stokes people out by showing them there are no rules, that you can in fact kick your own ass for a change. Maybe some of us--chest puffed out, punk rule book in hand--need to remember that.