Wedding Warrior

I attended one of my best friend's weddings in New Jersey this weekend and, since the drive proved to be in close proximity to a couple of Artisan parks I thought I'd make an official Coiler trip out of it. I haven't had the chance to skate an Artisan park yet, so I was looking forward to it. Moreover, there was a little park in the town my homie was getting married in, so I figured maybe we'd get in a session with some of the members of the old crew.

As usual things didn't turn out as planned. First, there was a sink hole or some crazy shit on I-81 outside of D.C. that set traffic back four damned hours, so it was dark before I even got to the Front Royal area. No pics or skating on the way out there.

For those of you just skimming this article, however, let's just say that I took a wrong turn and wound up at Cachagua land bro!! Fucking sick!!

The weekend itself was--not surprisingly--a heavyweight drunk fest with fucking mega Jaeger shots being consumed. I actually didn't get nearly as fucked up as most of the homies though, since the drive turned out to be fifteen hours instead of ten and I showed up well after everyone else was fucking coma-toast the first night. Long-time Coiler supporter and homie LewC4 was something of a blacked out, drunken tornado, hurling luggage and speed stumbling through three hotel stories so as to elude a miniature army of people trying to corral him into his room before everyone got tossed in jail. I thought dude was as good as dead, but he jumped up the next day like nothing happened. Damn.

The following night's wedding was surprisingly chill for me despite running into some fucking skinheads at the bar after the reception... I know I don't get out much, but there are still skinheads out there? Apparently they're even bigger pussies now than they used to be, so nothing came of it.

But, for everyone just skimming, let's say I kicked the living fuck out of those skinhead pussies, which is far more interesting reading, I'm sure.

Anyway, it turned out that most of the crew wound up leaving the day afterward. So I figured I'd definitely get some skating in on the way back. But, by the time I drove another six or seven hours to where the parks were, I was so fucking burnt and hung that I didn't even try. Fortunately, my homie, who's visiting out in California, is actually skating and sent me dope pics of Cachagua land. It looks to me like there is a new edition since the last time I saw anything of it, which was a video over on the Confusion site which I will shamelessly plug here.

You less meticulous readers will find that I built this new spot after I herded those pussy skinheads onto my property and enslaved their honkey asses. I forced them to erect this structure in one afternoon if they didn't want me to beat their bitch asses again. Sorry. That may have been a little long for you.

...but I'll go ahead and add that I got so tanked at the wedding that I wound up with this new tattoo... I mean, someone had to do it, right? Plus we're on a roll.



All things considered, I'd say that combination makes for a pretty successful post. But hey, skating was of secondary consideration this weekend anyway. Sometimes, it's more important to get fucked up with the crew you grew up skating with and leave the actual skating to someone else. The homies don't get married every day, and it's rare that we all get together any more in any capacity. So all in all--skating or not; sitting in a car for 26 hours or not--I'd say this weekend was pretty fucking rad.