Guantanamo Hey

Damn. Lock down here at Guantanamo Bay sucks a fat warm one, let me tell you. The torture regimen is carried off like clock work daily and, in case you haven't seen any updates on the news recently, is getting more and more creative. Luckily, after our 6am testicle-ocution wake up call followed by the usual Doberman Pincer hide and go seek game at 7am, the guards give all us (alleged) terrorists a few minutes to update our blogs for the folks back home. Ha! The dumbass guards keep forgetting that I'm up in dis he-ya bitch for the crime of "blogs against humanity" to begin with, so this is especially fun stuff for me.

Anyway, I know I've wasted a lot of cyber space bitching about supposedly "inauthentic" forms of skateboarding, such as longboarding and snowboarding and such. But, if you'll permit just one more rant to that effect, nothing, and I mean no form of skateboarding mimicry is lamer than waterboarding. I mean, I don't see the thrill in this one at all, what with you being held upside down, your face smothered, and water poured all over it for hours on end... all to an endless loop of Britney Spears singing some Star Spangled Banner shit in the background... I mean geez, it's so goddamed annoying I'd almost prefer snowboarding. But fuck it. This waterboarding shit's all I got til I break out this mutha fucka... so if Tom and Elmer are reading this, you know what up!... aw shit. Here come the fucking Dobermans... Just enough time to type one last "FUCK YOU HOMELAND SECURITY ASSED BITCHES!!!!"