Skate Jocks

I remember back in the '90s seeing an interview with MC Hammer wherein he defended himself against charges of "selling out" by arguing that anyone who criticized anyone else for "selling out" was essentially jealous of the accused's success. I.e., his working assumption was that anyone who could make money and become a big star would invariably do so, as if no one could possibly have any sense of integrity or vision that might complicate the matter. All art must be crap, he seemed to be saying, so why not get paid for creating said garbage? 

These days there seems to be a similar line of reasoning among "skate jocks," you know, the dudes stressing over skating--how they look, whether they did the trick "right" or if anyone noticed them doing it. Skate jocks think they get accused of being skate jocks because everybody's jealous of their skills, that indeed everyone is an aspiring circus gymnast, a mere monkey in training waiting to unleash a slew of stylistically inept, textbook, soulless "maneuvers" on the perfect skate park terrain (skate jocks have to have a perfect park, now). Skate jocks think they rip and they "prove" it by doing the trick their homie has been trying right in his or her face.

Skate jock: "DIY trannies are inconsistent and often too tight"

Skate jocks look forward to contests. They have something to prove and, at the end of the day, think skating is basically like any other sport wherein the idea is to be the best in everyone else's opinion. They crave others' approval but really only have their own. Skate jocks get mad all the time and don't ever seem to have fun skating. They only skate certain things (the things they've mastered) and are notorious for complaining about terrain they didn't build, or even help build, but was put there for them to skate, which of course the skate jock claims they would have made better. Skate jocks don't seem to grasp the difference between ripping and competing... when they push it, it's always in an effort to make something someone else has already done. They've got a list of tricks they want to do before they "hang it up," because all skate jocks think in terms of some sort of skating "career." In fact, unlike the real lifers, skate jocks wouldn't skate at all if they didn't get recognized as the "best" because it really isn't that much fun for them anyway... and of course it doesn't mean anything to them, so they may as well get paid doing it, too. Anybody in their right mind would, they claim.

Skate jocks don't get it. And no matter how hard you try, you won't be able to convince them that, for something to be important, it can't be taken too seriously. But they want skating to be "popular," and work diligently to improve the public's perception of their beloved "sport." They sure as hell never spray painted the bowl at the local concrete park to make sure the surface skated better. They skate like they have a stick up their ass, and act a lot like that too. And, I suspect that if any of them saw that interview with MC Hammer back in the '90s, they understood his pain, the rest of us being jealous and all.  Perhaps most curiously, skate jocks tend to value other human beings based on their ability, rather than their desire, to ride a fucking skateboard, and then wonder why it is they don't seem to have any real friends.