Gas Money Skate Auction

With gasoline prices averaging $3.36 a gallon nationally and, by the looks of it, some psychotic free market worshiping libertarian likely to be elected the next president, I can't just be hauling people around to remote skate parks for free... even considering the bank the Daily Coiler staff hauls in off this web site. But if I do, you'd better not leave your shit in my ride or it's going up for auction. So, without further introduction, the Coiler is proud to present the first Gas Money Skate Auction.

Item Number One: Mini Broom

The next time you and your friends venture out to a skate park located as far from civilization as humanly possible, make sure to bring along this tiny terror. The joke will be on your friends when they realize that it'll take them three times as long to sweep out the bowl than with a regular sized broom. Don't worry, you'll be relaxing in the shade draining some of the beers you bought with the money you saved by not chipping in for gas. This item is sure to provide its owner with sadistic laughter for years to come.

Opening bid: $2




Item Number Two: Coleman Mini Cooler
The number one rule on road trips? Pack light. Especially since you know that by not contributing to the gas fund, you're pretty much considered dead weight yourself right off the bat. The beauty of this little cooler is twofold. One, it only holds about six beers, so you can pound the PBRs you bought with the money you saved by not contributing to the gas fund and dig right in to the driver's cooler, thereby drinking for free. And, two, the thing doesn't really keep anything cold anyway, so, not only will it provide you with incentive to hurry up and drink your beers and get into everybody else's, it'll also leak all over the driver's car after you "forget" it there. This little gem is a skate trip must have.

Opening Bid: $2.50


Item Number Three: Tôn Loc Shades
We understand your quandary. You gotta look cool skating outdoors to make it in today's ultra-hipster skate scene. Yet, you also have to look cool enough indoors to wack yourself off in the mirror between sessions. Don't worry. The Coiler's got you covered with these vintage Tôn Locster shades donated to the Gas Money Skate Auction fund months ago. They even come with custom, dried up over-spray from the previous owner's last few bed air sessions. With these shades on, no one will ever see you eying the escape route to your own vehicle after your free ride to the park. In fact, with this type of anonymity, you can make sure to rub in the fact that you didn't pay shit for gas... who would ever notice? Just don't get carried away and think you're too cool, now. You gotta save some for the ladies!

Opening bid: $2 (free beer in photo only)


We'll accept bids through Saturday, October 22. Shipping not included.